for November

I will sew two jackets on my list of things to sew

and figure out what to make with the fabric I have

stacked in my sewing room, like offerings.

For November I will make the booties promised for a new baby’s arrival

I will finish one sweater and/or start a new one.

I may go to the gym.

I will pass through an invisible threshold and into a new decade and

I will never forget you, the other side of my soul,

and never celebrate a birthday with out remembering that your curls into mine like a wave –

And then we would begin the count down to Christmas, a gleeful whirling dervish dance of anticipation,

Then new years day and then the day after

when it all ended on the bumper of some strangers car.

In November, know that I still carry your voice in my heart’s rhythm, in the lymph and blood of my body

in each breath that I draw in every chamber in my thoughts you still live,

although with every passing year it is longer that you’re dead

and I abide, expecting the next wave,

here without you.